From the recording Journeys Through Obscurity
The Ballad of The Inepti
Staple that baby to the ironing board. There’s something here you gotta see.
Parking lot of a barbeque joint. An impromptu jamboree.
Same old bunch of drunken no-accounts we once ran out of town
Big Dumb Vern and The Inepti busking for another round.
Wobbling like a chimp on goofy dust, hot as red dwarf star.
Woebegone & out-of-sorts like a toad screwed in a jar
Low & greasy swamp fart ringing through the lower dell
Big Dumb Vern and The Inepti are fucked up clear to hell
Bleary as a Marine on a three-day pass. Wiggling like a goddamn bug.
Coming to you fresh-as-a-daisy straight from the county jug
20,000 Bodhisattvas sprang from the bush where he once took a pee
Big Dumb Vern and The Inepti are playing this gig for free.
Raised on deermeat (raw) & skunk cabbage way down the Dismal Bog.
Grasshoppers ate his mama and the revenuers got his dog.
Child of sorrow rinsed in rage. A grudge you couldn't haul with a crane.
Big Dumb Vern and The Inepti are taking to the stage again.
Making a rare appearance tonight between engagements in the calaboose
Low and twisty slithery sound embracing you like a noose
Still got time for one or two more songs before the army parachutes in
Big Dumb Vern and The Inepti in town, the bartender waters his gin
Coordination's dead and gone from drinking that stinking corn.
Imaginations are fired up from reading that hard-core porn.
God, the cops & the Kiwanis Club can kiss my pimpledy ass
Big Dumb Vern and The Inepti, persistent as a rash