From the recording Journeys Through Obscurity

Lyrics

Oh! Zelda
Batman qot a boner when Robin split his pants
Schwarzkopf got his rocks off with a picture of General Grant
Give me that prescription, doc, & I'll be feeling fine
With a bottle of fruity fruity wine & a pickle

Oh Zelda, don't nail me with your hairy eyeball stare
I walked 30 miles through a February blizzard in my long john underwear.
All I need is a buck for smokes & a slice of yer chuckleberry pie.
Oh! Zelda You're a mean one my oh my.

Oh Zelda, I guess I gotta be the cosmos's biggest sap.
You look me right square dead in the eye & then you tell me that I'm full of crap.
I ask for a little patience & you nearly gouge out my eye.
Oh! Zelda You're a cruel one my oh my.

Oh Zelda, I know you think that I'm a no-good lumpen slob.
But I’ve gotta melt your cold patrician heart or else I'll have to go & find a job.
Every time I tell you ‘bout how I feel you sic your dogs on me.
Oh Zelda, You're hopeless, fiddle-dee-dee.